My family grew up next to a rental home in a vacation friendly area, so much of the time it was occupied by people just staying for the summer. Almost always they were polite and respectful of the family community they were living in, but we had a few terrible tenants.
One group that stayed was the typical "It's summer, let's get drunk!" and "It's after 3pm, let's get drunk" crowd. I was offered "a little something" almost daily...and I was 8 at the time. No one was ever sure of the exact number of people living there, because there were never less than 12 or 14 people coming out of the house in the morning. Every night there seemed to be people we'd never seen before, showing up, drinking, screaming, and some sleeping on the grass. Half of them didn't even know who's home they were going to...just a "wild place."
One night I woke up to someone knocking on our front door. I ignored it...I was only a kid at the time and I wasn't answering the door at 3 am. The knocking continued and increased till it woke up my very very heavy sleeping father. As he walked down the stairs the banging only increased, till it was shaking the windows in the house.
Right as my father got to the front room, their was a horrible "CRASH". I could tell glass had broken. Then I heard my father yelling. I ran downstairs thinking I had to call the police, and I could see my father standing at the front door. The front of our home was completely surrounded by huge windows, and the largest one was shattered as though a bomb had gone through it.
My father opened the front door to a man in his underwear. "What the F*&^ are you DOING?!!??" he said.
"Uh....sorry dude......wrong house. This isn't Josh's"
My father was speechless for a minute.
"I feel asleep out here, and I was trying to get back in the house"
Yeah. He'd fallen asleep in our neighbors lawn, in his underwear, and tried to get back in the house by breaking our windows out. And he was at the wrong house.
I've never seen my father so angry. The neighbors response? "We don't really KNOW him. He's not our friend, so it's not really our fault. He just showed up".
They still had to pay to fix and clean up after their non friend.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
To Grandma's house we...errr....um...
I was caught in a neighbor war.
I lived very pleasantly next door to a family who had owned their house for several generations. Next to them was an very old, run down home. When the neighbor living their died, a couple came around looking at the home. They seemed very sweet, quiet, and polite. They eventually tracked down the family of the neighbor who died, and bought the home, saying it reminded them of "grandma's house". They also tried to buy my neighbors home, for "family".
As soon as they owned it, though, they razed it to the ground. So much for grandma's house! In it's place they erected TWO town homes, living in one and selling the other to family. They also paved the bit of yard that was left, using it to park 3 cars on risers and a boat...in their front yard. They said it was more "EnviromInt friendly. Cause you don't gotta to use water on cement". Then they began to "suggest" that my neighbor do the same, because, "Grass messes up our yard (cement). And it's dirty." They would stand on their deck, which they had built right outside my neighbors bedroom, and carry on about how horrible her home looked and how happy our town should be that THEY were here to improve the city's image. They would hold parties till 5 am almost every night, and "accidentally" let their garbage fall over the fence into my neighbors lawn...as if it would jump over a 5 foot fence by accident. They would hold parties to invite out of town friends to move in...every time saying that their whole block was moving soon, and these "practically abandoned" homes would be available to build on soon.
My next door neighbor retaliated in fine fashion. She was well-known for her work with the local environment. As such, she began to take tours around our town, showing how locals where helping or harming the environment. Her neighbors homes were always the last stop in the "harming" part of the tour. She was also able to get enough support from our neighborhood to have a large compost area in her backyard...right next to our neighbors living and bedroom. It was worth the smell to watch our neighbors try and not vomit.
The last was when our neighbors contacted a friend who worked for a regional home magazine. They asked to have their home featured in an article detailing how they were "rejuvenating" our town. They neither worked in the town nor took part in anything related to town repair or rebuilding....in fact they had shut the door on the local Red Cross when they asked for volunteers to help the hurricane victims. They told them to "help their own damn selves...it's not our problem".
On the day of the photo shoot, the family awoke and walked outside...to find my next door neighbors home painted wild, hideous shades. It had orange splatter on the roof, green and purple shutters, pink steps, brown stripes...you name it, it was on there. My neighbor also planted HUGE plastic flamingos in the yard, and hung wind chimes from every window. Try as he might, the photographer could not get a single good shot of the home without including that eyesore because they had built so close to her, and trying to photo shop left a huge blank spot next to the house. His boss decided to have an article on our "quirky" town instead, and my next door neighbor was showcased on the cover as "artsy" and "bohemian".
The nasty neighbors were gone soon after, saying that no one here "appreciated" them.
I lived very pleasantly next door to a family who had owned their house for several generations. Next to them was an very old, run down home. When the neighbor living their died, a couple came around looking at the home. They seemed very sweet, quiet, and polite. They eventually tracked down the family of the neighbor who died, and bought the home, saying it reminded them of "grandma's house". They also tried to buy my neighbors home, for "family".
As soon as they owned it, though, they razed it to the ground. So much for grandma's house! In it's place they erected TWO town homes, living in one and selling the other to family. They also paved the bit of yard that was left, using it to park 3 cars on risers and a boat...in their front yard. They said it was more "EnviromInt friendly. Cause you don't gotta to use water on cement". Then they began to "suggest" that my neighbor do the same, because, "Grass messes up our yard (cement). And it's dirty." They would stand on their deck, which they had built right outside my neighbors bedroom, and carry on about how horrible her home looked and how happy our town should be that THEY were here to improve the city's image. They would hold parties till 5 am almost every night, and "accidentally" let their garbage fall over the fence into my neighbors lawn...as if it would jump over a 5 foot fence by accident. They would hold parties to invite out of town friends to move in...every time saying that their whole block was moving soon, and these "practically abandoned" homes would be available to build on soon.
My next door neighbor retaliated in fine fashion. She was well-known for her work with the local environment. As such, she began to take tours around our town, showing how locals where helping or harming the environment. Her neighbors homes were always the last stop in the "harming" part of the tour. She was also able to get enough support from our neighborhood to have a large compost area in her backyard...right next to our neighbors living and bedroom. It was worth the smell to watch our neighbors try and not vomit.
The last was when our neighbors contacted a friend who worked for a regional home magazine. They asked to have their home featured in an article detailing how they were "rejuvenating" our town. They neither worked in the town nor took part in anything related to town repair or rebuilding....in fact they had shut the door on the local Red Cross when they asked for volunteers to help the hurricane victims. They told them to "help their own damn selves...it's not our problem".
On the day of the photo shoot, the family awoke and walked outside...to find my next door neighbors home painted wild, hideous shades. It had orange splatter on the roof, green and purple shutters, pink steps, brown stripes...you name it, it was on there. My neighbor also planted HUGE plastic flamingos in the yard, and hung wind chimes from every window. Try as he might, the photographer could not get a single good shot of the home without including that eyesore because they had built so close to her, and trying to photo shop left a huge blank spot next to the house. His boss decided to have an article on our "quirky" town instead, and my next door neighbor was showcased on the cover as "artsy" and "bohemian".
The nasty neighbors were gone soon after, saying that no one here "appreciated" them.
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